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This is why we can't have nice things!
Aug. 17th, 2008 08:42 pmThere's this sensation, when you are nuts, of sitting in the passenger seat of your own life while some other driver is at the wheel speeding, tailgating, swerving lanes, and running orange lights. One minute I'm fine and think, oh thank god that's over and then 10 minutes later I'm clutching the dashboard again praying to god and psychopharmacology that we don't wreck. I'm in the pacing and and not-smashing-things place right now. And I'm bored. It's awesome.
I spent the weekend in some idiotic mental distress of my own making, namely, I picked a fight with a friend and then was filled with excessive regret and self-reproach on the depressive backlash. It was entertaining for all concerned. No, wait, not entertaining...what's the word I'm looking for? Oh yeah, stupid. And minorly destructive. And public. Did I mention public? Yeah, that too.
Now I am bored because I was running an RP that was finally getting fun after a long and agonizing labor, and then I got myself said fight with said friend who was one of the other players and shut the whole thing down in a fit of pique. Not one of my prouder moments. Now I really miss it and really wish I could start playing it again.
I could put my head through a tempered glass window right now, I really could. And it would actually be the most productive thing I've done with it in the past 48 hours.
I spent the weekend in some idiotic mental distress of my own making, namely, I picked a fight with a friend and then was filled with excessive regret and self-reproach on the depressive backlash. It was entertaining for all concerned. No, wait, not entertaining...what's the word I'm looking for? Oh yeah, stupid. And minorly destructive. And public. Did I mention public? Yeah, that too.
Now I am bored because I was running an RP that was finally getting fun after a long and agonizing labor, and then I got myself said fight with said friend who was one of the other players and shut the whole thing down in a fit of pique. Not one of my prouder moments. Now I really miss it and really wish I could start playing it again.
I could put my head through a tempered glass window right now, I really could. And it would actually be the most productive thing I've done with it in the past 48 hours.
